Sunday, 23 December 2012

Quiz Time

Yes, already it's the annual Pop Quiz. If you've been listening to all the great DJs like Pete Drummond and John Peel and buying gatefold LPs, ideally while wearing a greatcoat bought from the Army and Navy Surplus Store, then you'll probably get all the answers. Well done in advance!
If, on the other hand, you've been listening to Alan Dell and David Jacobs on boring old Radio 2 then almost certainly you won't have a clue, and chances are you'll experience a lasting sense of humiliation if you attempt the questions below.

But don't let that put you off. This is merely a bit of fun to enliven the festive season.
Add your answers in the Comments section below, but do write in block caps at the top "not to be read by other participants", otherwise that will ruin the fun for everyone - all because you couldn't be bothered to obey one simple rule.

Just to be clear: there is no prize of any kind. It's just a bit of fun. Oh, and best of luck. And I really mean that. Ready?

1 Who is better out of the Trems and Herman's Hermits?

2 Roger Taylor out of Queen claims that when the group first saw David Bowie perform live "we were literally blown away." Strictly speaking, is he correct?

3 Who composed the theme for the BBC arts documentary series Arena?

4 " 'Oh why don't we play cards for her?' he sneeringly replied." Name the song in which this line features. Alright, Smartypants, now find a likely link to George Layton.

5 What is the link between the Temptations' Ball of Confusion and Kenneth Alford?

6 "Levitation's as easy as pie / Come on and hold hands with me in the sky." What links these lines to Michael McIntyre and The Female Eunuch? (No half points available.)

7 If you visit Wolverhampton Art Gallery, Noddy Holder's will be the voice you hear in the lift. (Not a question, just a bit of advice.)

8 True or false: at the height of the British Invasion, Freddie Garrity's group played in Canada, and the band was introduced by the elderly Groucho Marx who, upon seeing the endless sea of faces in front of him, was momentarily intoxicated (in the manner of Neil Kinnock at Sheffield in 1992) and suddenly smote his breast, declaring to the vast crowd: "I'm a Dreamer, Montreal!"

9 Who perpetrated these song lyrics?
a: "Are you blind to the winds of change?"
b: "We were at the discotheque, / Dancing to the Sex-o-lettes ..."
c: "Now that I know you socially / Obviously I'll fall heavily."

10 Here are extracts from genuine cabaret medleys as heard in Northern clubs. Can you identify the original song components and the original artists?

a: "I'm sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair, you were in a car crash and you lost that lovin' feelings, nothing more than feelings."

b: "He rattled his maracas close to me, in no time I was trembling at the need somebody to lean on the road again."

c: "Suddenly you love me and my eyes are open why did you do it, why did you do that thing to meet on the ledge, we're gonna meet on the ledge, when my time is up I'm gonna see all my friends - playin' cross the river."
If the quiz has defeated you, that doesn't fully define who and what you are. It may be that your skills lie elsewhere. So why not try one of A.A. Milne's tips for being a wow at parties? 

The Mysterious Pudding

is one of the oldest and most popular illusions.

You begin by borrowing a gold watch from one of your audience.

Having removed the works, you wrap the empty case up in a handkerchief and hand it back to him, asking him to put it in his waistcoat pocket.

The works you place in an ordinary pudding basin and proceed to pound up with a hammer.

Having reduced them to powder, you cover the basin with another handkerchief, which you borrow from a member of the company, and announce that you are about to make a plum-pudding.

Cutting a small hole in the top of the handkerchief, you drop a lighted match through the aperture; whereupon the handkerchief flares up.

When the flames have died down you exhibit the basin, wherein (to the surprise of all) is to be seen an excellent Christmas pudding, which you may ask your audience to sample.

At the same time you tell the owner of the watch that if he feels in his pockets he will find his property restored to him intact; and to his amazement he discovers that the works in some mysterious way have got back into his watch, and that the handkerchief in which it was wrapped up has gone!
The explanation of this ingenious illusion will be provided at a later date. Merry Twist-mas everybody!


    1 tHE Tremeloes - because of they wnet HEAVY.
    2 Yes Bowie is KING
    3 Pass
    4 Pass
    5 Did KA do like a cover version
    6 In comedicc terms McIntyre is a enuch
    7 GHa ha your so funny I dondt thnink
    8 Pass
    9 Pass Pass Paul Anka
    10 (A) Morris albert or Elivs costello pass on rest (B) the witch or jerome diddley, bill withers manfred mann (c) David Soul fleetwood mac peter greeen era sandy denny jimy cliff

    from Spudullike

  2. 1 Brian Poole and Peter Noone
    2 Yes, it's an acceptable idiomatic phrase
    3 Brian May
    4 Ernie by Bennie Hill. Don't know second bit. Did George Layton do a single with him or is there some connection with Tony Hatch?
    5 Did both of them, Temps and Kenneth Alford, have a liking for the films of Humphrey Bogart?
    6 Something with the Beatles or Viv Stanshall? Viv is photographed with Germain Greer somewhere.
    7 -
    8 Ha! Hilarious! Tho You could of said it so much simpler.
    9 A is it early Slade (Ambros Slade) so is Noddy from Wolves art gallery B Chubby Checker C Sounds quite posh - maybe Robin Starsdet doing a 20s/30s oldy? Not sure. Or that guy who did I get a kick out of you (garry sheasby)
    10 a Black Lace or Paper Lace bill withers

    10 b Stylstics Stackridge Silver Convention Rev. Al Green


    Hi Pismo,

    In all, a wholly admirable mix of silliness and erudition - well done, though I couldn't see earlier quizes in 2011 or 2010. Is 2012 in fact your inaugural annual unique take on the pop quiz convention? More please, if so. And so to my answerings.

    one Trems: comparisons are invidious. Far be it from me, etc. two Yes. Yes, he is. three think it was gavin bryars. four Ernie - which I think was layton's name in It ain't half hot mum. Ernie Hayes. five Hah hah! No confusion there, son. Now we know how many.
    six This sounds comedy psych pop - maybe simon dupree offshoot the moles - so has mcintyer played mole in a panto? don't know about female eunch - was Greer in a uninverstiy revue playing a mole? I have scrupulously avoided the internet for answering this (I hope there's a prize) so I ought to be given some recogntion of that if others have used online help.

    seven Ill bear it in mnd, thojhgh I have a soft spot for the Nodster. I read that he saw the Sun King's palace at Versailles while still a member of Slade which made me see him in a whole different light. BTW, there is a nice cafe on the top floor of Wolverhampton Gallery, much recommended. It's the idea of Jim Lea as a psychotherapist hat I can't get my head round, to be honest! Anyway, onwards and excelsior ...

    eight terrific! and where did you get the photo from? Sounds like just the kind of thing Groucho would do in his later days!

    9 Soudns familar - that group America? After all they rhymed name with pain in Horse with No Name! 70's disco - hamilton bohannan poss? that last one has to be a joke - or maybe a self-penned showaddywaddy or chinnichap ditty? Sounds like a sendup anyway.

    10 I don't believe for ONE SECOND that these are genuine - have you been accessing one Jim Moir's website perchance?! But stil, in the spirit of the season I will give them a go.

    (10a) Morrisey/ Smiths / righteous bros / charles aznavour
    (10b) Lauren Chase "Luton Airport" song / Bill Withers / - any number of songs with "on the road" in lyrics - eg Canned Heat, Manfred Man Earth Band (Davey's on the road again) / Ray Davies and Kinks Life on the Road.
    (10c) The aforesaid "Trems" - song written by Steve Gerogiu, alias Cat Stevens, Ace (of How Long fame), Fairport Convention (Sandy Denny era), Kinks.

    You have said there are no prizes, but I bet I am the only one to get every single question correct - maybe you could rethink your policy? Best wishes and congrats on a consistnetly hilarious blog which has made me think, informed me, and made me fear for your sanity - often all within the space of one paragraph! Seriously though, greaf fun - keep up the good work.

    B.D. (loyal reader since 2011)


    1 They are both CR*P. I only like progressive underground group bands like Ledd Zep.

    2 They're agreat rock band, something you will never understand, anymore than you truly appreciate bowie and h is immense concept albums.

    3 Don't know and don't care. I do know that Status Quo appeared in Coronation St but obviously that's outside yr "oh so limited" terms of referentiation.

    4 Benny hill, big surprise. And why should I care about some minor TV celebrity who, for the sakes of argument, played Dr Paul Collier for many a series of Richard Condon adaptations. (Hah!)

    5 You are so childish it's literally unbeleivable.

    6 Bonzos Kenny Everette etc don't insult my intelligence. Mcintyre is also so called funny so thats the tenuous link and Greer is a joke obviously. Now your going to make some stupid pun in reply obviously.

    7 Oh, my sides will split. No point in trying to tell you that HOlder and Lea at their best rivalled mid period Lennon McArtney.

    8 Everybody knows that Groucho Marx album it was on Radio Clyde all the time so you're not even clever. And why would Groucho be introducing them? Not like poor old Keaton chasing dimes (and dames) in Beach Blanket Bingo. Unless you know differently, of course, as you always claim you do.

    9. Bernie Clifton / Disco Tex, obviously / Faron Young

    10. Ringo Starr, Robson and Jerome (joke obviously) Peter Skellern, azanvour etc etc

    Benny Hill (YET AGAIN - how predictable) / Detroit Spinners or Brownsville Station / Al Big Bear Hite

    Cat Stevens (composer) / Stretchband / The Fairports or Strawbs



    1 Hard one, this. The Tremeloes supposedly went "heavy" - I remember the consternation on the pages of Disc and Music Echo weekly - and it is true that some singles like Me and My Life had a not unpleasing rockish edge. On the other hand, there are those who treat this Damascene conversion as nothing more than impudent bluff. The Hermits, it could be argued, remained that which they always were: pop of the purest, emptiest kind. For consistency, then, I choose HH. And when Noone left, and recorded Bowie songs, it was a shock: one couldn't imagine the original group making such an elemental error.

    2 It is, of course, a grammatical error, but given that Bohemian Rhapsody has forever eroded the notion of meaning in the lyrics of popular music, Taylor's (or was it May's) statement is of a piece with the whole sorry mess which songwriting has become. Oh, for a modern Cole Porter or Lorenz Hart - a vain hope, I know.

    3 Brian Eno - although I believe it was plucked from his Another Green World LP, so not specifically composed for that Yentobian strand.

    4 The words issued from the mouth of Henry McGhee in what one must call the "video", though it appears shot on 8mm film (if that), but they are, of course, reported speech. George Leyton (not Layton) and Hill worked for Thames Television, although I suspect you need a more specific link to be made. Leyton and Helen Shapiro appeared in a revival of How to Succeed in Business at Richmond, near enough to the building in which Hill met his lonely end, though I suspect the link will be the lovely Sheila Fearne's (another Thames employee, as it happens) sometime coiffeurist husband over on the "rival" channel - though in later years he was an offscreen presence.


    5 This vulgarity is unworthy of you. Nevertheless, the well-known "alternative" lyric to the famed Colonel Bogey march refers to a deficiency which maligned - with what justification I know not - a certain Argentinian exile. 'Twas Erich Maschwitz, who penned a Nightingal Sang, who must bear resonsibility for the bawdy, anti-dictatorial doggerel which has clung to the melody ever since.

    6 This is the Lemon Pipers' Love Beads and Meditation, a cynical, purely poppish response to the Beatles' genuine efforts to float downstream towards eastern enlightenment. Yet it is pleasing for all that, and calls to mind Royston Wood's more commercial efforts for the Move. A few more ditties like that, in fact, and I wager Carl Wayne would have stayed with the group! As regards Michael McIntre, I suspect his indefatigable grin betrays Australian ancestry (he, if anyone, is one for whom the witless Aussie phrase "no problem" would come as naturally as the many cheques which pile atop his agent's desk), so I suppose Germaine Greer must be a relative, or had a fling with his father, perhaps. I don't follow the "red-tops" (now sadly depleted post Iveson report of course) so cannot avouch with absolute certainty. But I'll wager a pin to a pound that I am, as celeberity sportspersons say, "there or thereabouts."

    7 I shall bear it in mind. He is a vulgar little man. It calls to mind that guardian of the sewers, Sir William Conoly, helming a documentary about Scottish art. Truly, the world has gone mad, bad and dangerous to gnaw at!

    8 Wit and to spare. I salute you, Sir, albeit with a certain alarm, as one Mr. Alfieri might say.

    9 (1) truly a school boy "howler." It is acceptable for pop lyrics to err on the colloquial side, but Lord have mercy, this is truly criminal. As you have guessed, I know both song and artist, so shall move on.
    (2) an obvious "chinnichap" " (Nicky Chin and Mike Chapman) concoction, foisted upon one of their many and interchangeable teenage groups. I would suggest Sweet, but I have absolutely no intention of allowing my eardrums to suffer in the cause of verification. Sweet it is and will be, for in a sense all this duo's groups were "sweet" - in a manner that made one's gums tingle in anticipatory pain.
    (3) At last, some wit. I am uncertain of the song, but it can only be the great B.A. Robertson, of Bang Bang fame (a hit for Cher, but penned by the aforesaid artist). It is not Bang Bang, so it must be Knocked It Off, the follow up.


    10 (first cabaret medley) Hmm - the maudlin aspect is suggestive of a country and western song, yet the ludicrous extremes - even for a ditty bred in the "Grand Old Opry" - suggest an element of self parody. I shall plump, therefore, for stately, plump Buck Owens, whose Act Naturally and What Goes On ("tides of time" indeed!) strongly suggest a work in a similar vein. Dull would he be of soul who would pass by such clues. Secondly, the Righteous Brothers, of course (talk about "on the nose" clues) and any number of pseudo-chansonniers who have essayed the glutinous ballad which brings up the rear.

    (second medley) The first song is a "Viva" which *will* last forever, in contrast to a certain recent musical. A trivial song, certainly, but with enough native wit to render its annual reappearance on Totp 2 and "youtube" tolerable. It is yoked on this occasion to the ditty by that manufacturer of airline toilet seats, Sir William of Withers.

    (third medley) the first is a lost soul - as in David (one can think of another Hutch, in another era, who was rather more tuneful! - would that Tony McAuley had been of an age to pass his not unpleasing compositions to Mayfair's pet exotic, but no more o' that or I perforce must blub at the loss of all that is good in the musical vein. The second segment is a folk rock ditty which first saw the light of day as a recording with Ms. Denny and the Strawbs then was purloined by Judy Dyble before being reclaimed by Our Sandy as a solo single, B side of her cover of Whispering Grass (contrary to popular belief, and doubtless yours too, for aught I know, it was never an official Fairport "track.") Finally, I suppose there is a fragment of See My Friends from David Bowie's Pin Ups album tagged onto the end of what must have sorely tested the patience of the average imbiber at the Batley Variety and its like. I suspect our old Friends the Baron Nights must have been the perpetrators!

    If you recant on the prize front, I shall be delighted to accept a record voucher, if they are still manufactured in these less than enlightened times, for in truth I cannot imagine a more articulate, comprehensive and painstakingly correct response to your Yuletide jeu d'esperit than mine to come winging your way (or webbing, I suppose one must learn to say!) this many a moon. When are the answers to be made public, or have I in effect done so via this missive? No need, surely, for further entrants?

    Edwin Ardell


    Trems every time. Tuneful and great harmonies. Good cabaret performers.
    No it's not.
    Alan Yentob
    Ernie by Benny Hill. Layton was a "collier" (Paul Collier, Barry Evans' sidekick) and Hill a milkman - related jobs.
    Ball of confusion vs testicular contusion
    Recorded by male enunch Tiny Tim. McIntyre is the son of Max Bygraves, who sang about Tulips as did Tiny Tim.
    If that's true one of us is animal crackers.
    David McWilliams. Chubby Checker. Julee Tzuke (Twin Peaks theme)
    10-A Back off Boogaloo + Smiths + Donovan

    10-B Benny Hill + Spinners (Motown version) + Canned Heat

    10-C Clodagh Rodgers + Lindisfarne + Roy Orbison (Blue Bayou) + Pat Boone (Moody River)

    William Campbell aka otherpaul

  9. Both or neither.

    They ought to be blown away. Nowhere as good as Bowie.

    It's always Pete Baikie.

    Wink Martindale or Max Bygraves. Layton and Johnstone wrote the song.

    Used in Ghostbusters and Alford wrote Dambusters theme.

    sgt Pepper, and Mcintyre conceived to Sgt Pepper album. Female enuch written by Fear of Flying woman, and one of Fabs was "flying" on album cover.

    thanks for advice. Maybe they thought he was from Slade School of Art.

    Funny cause it's true.

    Bernie Flint. Disco Tex alias Monty Rock III. Bonzos or New Vaudeville Band.

    Pass Me By. James and Bobby Hatfield.

    Spanish Stroll. Lean on Me (We All Need Somebody to Lean on).

    Cat Stevens (?) Lindisfarne. Jimmy Cliff or Nilsson/Lennon (Pussycats Riot album).

    Jim B

  10. Hi, I couldn't get them all so have only answered the ones I'm reasonably sure of. But I get the impression that won't matter too much, as you don't seem to be treating this all that seriously in your own case. Okay, eyes down.

    1 Brian Poole and Peter Noone
    2 Yes Bowie is KING
    3 gavin bryars
    4 Benny hill, and Paul Collier is Benny HIll's real name.
    5 Colonel Bogey has rude lyrics by Erich Maschwitz, who penned a Nightingale Sang, about only one ball.
    6 Lemon Pipers' Love Beads and Meditation, McIntyre is Australian, son of Germaine Greer, who wrote Female Enoch.
    7 Thanks.
    8 Cyril Lord / Sweet / BA Robertson
    9 Bernie Clifton / Disco Tex / Faron Young
    MEDLEY #1 Morris albert or Elivs costello / BILL Withers
    MEDLEY #2 Lauren Chase "/ Bill Withers / Manfred Man Earth Band / Ray Davies and Kinks
    MEDLEY #3 "Trems", Ace, Fairport Convention (Sandy Denny lead singer), Kinks.

    1. Sorry, but it rather looks like you have copied and pasted from other competitors' answers. I'm afraid that your paper is null and void, and the non-existent prize can never be yours. But thanks for taking part, have you had a good day etc, here's what you could have won ...


    I have omitted answers to trick questions and only responded to genuine ones. If my results are penalised, I know in my heart the marks I deserve.

    3 On Some Faraway Beach - Eno produced by Tony Visconti (Low outtake).
    4 The hair artiste formerly known as Mario.
    5 Ball.
    6 Nirvana (UK group - Patrick Campbell-Lyons etc); I assume that Campbell-Lyons has some family connection with McIntyre, and given that it was the sixties, thinking of Jagger and Marsha Hunt, etc, presumably Greer is McIntyre's mother.
    8 I have read this in the past. It wasn't the first time Groucho twisted this song title. He would have taken the gig purely to have that moment - trust me, it wasn't spontaneous.
    9 Mick Softley (Street Singer album); Sir Monty Rock the third (alias Disco Tex of Get Dancin' fame) bigging himself up; Peek-a-boo (pastiche number by New Vaudeville Band).

    10 a: Sunshine Life for Me (Ringo's first album); Barry Mann (minor hit for composer after Who Put the Bomp before handed to James and Bobby Purify, aka The Righteous Brothers); Georges Brassens.

    b: Benny Hill (Flying South for the Summer); Bill Withers; Canned Heat (etc - it's a common blues phrase).

    c: Trems (My Little Lady); Lindisfarne: Roy Orbison - shades into Kinks hit utilising sitar for first time, played by Indian fisherman.

    I am tempted to give my email, but as there is no prize, I guess the kudos will be enough for the competitor known as ... Eary Nearnogh (anagram)

  12. Happy Christmas Pismo! from FR

    Here are my best efforts, and I promise I haven't looked at earlier entries. I wrote this out on notepad and am about to open "comments" and paste it in without altering it, promise. I can't claim any particular knowledge, but most of the questions seem fairly easy if you have a foot in the sixties and psych pop, I think. Anyway, here goes .,.

    1 Both of them
    2It depends on the Bowie gig, really, but I saw him at Green's Playhouse (Glasgow Apollo) and the whole crowd was literally blown away, so I suppose yes. I think Brian May saw him at Eltham College - and Chris Difford out of Squeeze was in the audience. May was handed Bowie's guitar - surprised he didn't run off with it.
    3 Don't know who did this, but it sounds very much like some off an Eno album, like Here Come the Warm Jets era, very much that Alan Yentob/Monitor feel.
    4 This is a Charlie Drake song called Puckeridge, or Puckwit, or something similar. Henry McGhee may have been on the track, cause I believe he was George Layton's father.
    5 I suppose you mean balls but it sounds a bit obvious. Is it to do with Bruno Ganz - did he do something produced by Georgio Moroder,and Moroder produced the Temps post Motown, or was junior assistant or something to Norman Whitfield in Motown era?
    6 Pretty certain this is Lemon Pipers' Jelly Jungle of Orange Marmalade, a real psych novelty. Some of the members of Hotlegs (later to be 10cc) worked on various Pipers tracks as well as Kasenatz Katz' Singing Orchestral Circus (Quick Joey Small etc), so they may have worked on this song - did they in fact write it? Though not sure if Lemon (Pipers) and Creme (Lol) won't have an acidic effect when combined, though I suppose that is entirely fitting for those times (!)
    7 You are cruel to Noddy. Why shouldn't he have a life out of big boot stomping? Jim Lea is a Gestalt Therapist, for example, and why not? I read in NME that Noddy had broken down in tears when visiting Louis XIV's palace at Versailles at the sheer beauty of the spectacle.
    8 I'd like to believe this but it's so convoluted I'm afraid it must be a shaggy dog story. On the other hand, I know people like Alice Cooper would hang out with Groucho so it's possible at that time GM was taking whatever gigs he could. And what a great opportunity to make the teenage world notice an old Vaudevillian! I do know that courtesy of Dick Van Dyke Stan Laurel introduced Herman's Hermits onstage for at least part of an American tour, or possibly just a one-off date at the Hollywood Bowl, not sure.
    9 God! All three are truly dire, aren't they? [a] is outside my frame of reference, thank goodness, [b] must be Disco Tex, though it's a bit too self-regarding, [c] this must be Percy Sledge's Take Time to Know Her, though it's a while since I heard it.
    10 [first] Beatles, Pass Me Not -- Morris Albert [second] Rattles, The Witch, Detroit Spinners, Bill Withers, Al Kooper -- Tremeloes, Sandy Denny & Fairports, the big O.

    Well, there it is. Do I get a badge at least? And when will we know the winner? I can't wait to see how I measure up.

    1. Have patience! Answers will be posted around 10pm (Greenwich Mean Time) on Boxing Day, provided I am around. Some very interesting answers but I can't say anymore at present ...Pismotality