[ANSWERS CAN BE FOUND HERE]
Yes, already it's the annual Pop Quiz. If you've been listening to all the great DJs like Pete Drummond and John Peel and buying gatefold LPs, ideally while wearing a greatcoat bought from the Army and Navy Surplus Store, then you'll probably get all the answers. Well done in advance!
If, on the other hand, you've been listening to Alan Dell and David Jacobs on boring old Radio 2 then almost certainly you won't have a clue, and chances are you'll experience a lasting sense of humiliation if you attempt the questions below.
But don't let that put you off. This is merely a bit of fun to enliven the festive season.
Add your answers in the Comments section below, but do write in block caps at the top "not to be read by other participants", otherwise that will ruin the fun for everyone - all because you couldn't be bothered to obey one simple rule.
Just to be clear: there is no prize of any kind. It's just a bit of fun. Oh, and best of luck. And I really mean that. Ready?
1 Who is better out of the Trems and Herman's Hermits?
2 Roger Taylor out of Queen claims that when the group first saw David Bowie perform live "we were literally blown away." Strictly speaking, is he correct?
3 Who composed the theme for the BBC arts documentary series Arena?
4 " 'Oh why don't we play cards for her?' he sneeringly replied." Name the song in which this line features. Alright, Smartypants, now find a likely link to George Layton.
5 What is the link between the Temptations' Ball of Confusion and Kenneth Alford?
6 "Levitation's as easy as pie / Come on and hold hands with me in the sky." What links these lines to Michael McIntyre and The Female Eunuch? (No half points available.)
7 If you visit Wolverhampton Art Gallery, Noddy Holder's will be the voice you hear in the lift. (Not a question, just a bit of advice.)
8 True or false: at the height of the British Invasion, Freddie Garrity's group played in Canada, and the band was introduced by the elderly Groucho Marx who, upon seeing the endless sea of faces in front of him, was momentarily intoxicated (in the manner of Neil Kinnock at Sheffield in 1992) and suddenly smote his breast, declaring to the vast crowd: "I'm a Dreamer, Montreal!"
9 Who perpetrated these song lyrics?
a: "Are you blind to the winds of change?"
b: "We were at the discotheque, / Dancing to the Sex-o-lettes ..."
c: "Now that I know you socially / Obviously I'll fall heavily."
10 Here are extracts from genuine cabaret medleys as heard in Northern clubs. Can you identify the original song components and the original artists?
a: "I'm sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair, you were in a car crash and you lost that lovin' feelings, nothing more than feelings."
b: "He rattled his maracas close to me, in no time I was trembling at the need somebody to lean on the road again."
c: "Suddenly you love me and my eyes are open why did you do it, why did you do that thing to meet on the ledge, we're gonna meet on the ledge, when my time is up I'm gonna see all my friends - playin' cross the river."
If the quiz has defeated you, that doesn't fully define who and what you are. It may be that your skills lie elsewhere. So why not try one of A.A. Milne's tips for being a wow at parties?
The Mysterious Pudding
is one of the oldest and most popular illusions.
You begin by borrowing a gold watch from one of your audience.
Having removed the works, you wrap the empty case up in a handkerchief and hand it back to him, asking him to put it in his waistcoat pocket.
The works you place in an ordinary pudding basin and proceed to pound up with a hammer.
Having reduced them to powder, you cover the basin with another handkerchief, which you borrow from a member of the company, and announce that you are about to make a plum-pudding.
Cutting a small hole in the top of the handkerchief, you drop a lighted match through the aperture; whereupon the handkerchief flares up.
When the flames have died down you exhibit the basin, wherein (to the surprise of all) is to be seen an excellent Christmas pudding, which you may ask your audience to sample.
At the same time you tell the owner of the watch that if he feels in his pockets he will find his property restored to him intact; and to his amazement he discovers that the works in some mysterious way have got back into his watch, and that the handkerchief in which it was wrapped up has gone!
The explanation of this ingenious illusion will be provided at a later date. Merry Twist-mas everybody!