Gnome Thoughts ... 35 (If John had stayed with Mimi)

This is a very simple, not to mention infantile, idea which could be catching, if any Beatle people are reading this. Hey, maybe it could even be a competition, with some kind of marvellous prize which I haven't yet bought - but it'll be great, believe me.

Anyway, the idea has certainly been floating around in the recesses of my mind for some time, demanding to be shared with others. So here goes.


If John hadn't met Cynthia or Yoko and had opted to stay within the security of Mendips and Mimi's care throughout his career (sort of Mr Kite meets Mr Dick, if you know your David Copperfield, with Mimi as Betsy Trotwood) it's possible that his concerns might have been a little narrower, more parochial and domestic, and his songwriting therefore just that little bit different.

Example: Instant Karma might have been instead a cautionary tale about the dangers of overstimulating diuretic beverages:

Instant coffee's out to get you,
All that caffeine's really bad,
It's going to give you palpitations -
You'd better watch it, lad!

I'm sure there are lots of other obvious songs but I can't be bothered to think of any more.

Oh, and that's where you come in. Can you think of other likely Lennon compositions penned in this alternative universe? If so, why not place your efforts in the comments box below and then sit back and wait for that magnificent prize.

Or for the van to come.

So if you have any Lennon song ideas, please add 'em to Comments or email them to me via the Contact page above.Surviving Beatles, Beatle spouses and immediate family members are not eligible to participate.

Especially not Ringo. I should let it go, I know, but I'm still reeling from that couplet in  Don't Pass Me By:

I'm sorry that I hurt you, I was so unfair
You were in a car crash and you lost your hair

I have a vivid memory of Lennon on Radio 1 claiming to believe that the lyrics were Ringo's best ever. Could the beringed one have intended as a dummy lyric which mischievous songdoctor Winston convinced him to keep, a bit like the Hey Jude "on your shoulder" bit? These days, either action would be accounted bullying.

Right, I'm done. You have until January 1st to submit your entries.